Only the good die young
The news of Dana Reeve's death on 3/6 is depressing from a variety of angles.First, speaking as the child of two parents who both died far before their time, I feel terrible for Max, the Reeves' son. It's gotta be just horrible to have not one, but BOTH of your parents die from wasting diseases, watching their health slowly decline and beginning to understand that your whole life as you knew it up to that point is over, waiting until the end and being unable to a damn thing to slow it down or stop it.
Second, both of the Reeves were huge advocates for change in areas that are important to all humans, not just Americans, not based on some moronic idea of racial or national superiority, just those who live on this planet. Anyone can get cancer. Anyone can suffer paralysis from any number of causes. They spent years working to facilitate the search for cures, and remained publicly upbeat and positive despite their own illnesses.
Third, I feel badly for both of the Reeves - Christopher, beloved by the movie-going public, will be remembered not only for his paralysis but for his large body of work, especially, of course, for the Superman movies - I remember seeing the first one as a kid and thinking how cute he was (kid, remember) and how the suit really looked good on him. He was a great Superman, although I liked him in other movies as well. To see him brought down by a stupid accident, reduced to smiling from a wheelchair from which he could never rise, was very sad. And Dana, who lost the love of her life after having been lucky enough to find him, then had her own disease to deal with, and the knowledge that she'd be leaving her son to live in a world in which he wouldn't have his parents to help with all the questions and experiences he'd be having in life - that's almost worse. I can understand that one as a mother - I'd be afraid to die for its own sake, but the idea that my children wouldn't have me around would make me far more neurotic.
I feel like I haven't lived enough, and I know I haven't made enough of a difference, and yet here I sit, writing this blog as people like the Reeves are dropping dead around us while we obsess over Jennifer Aniston's new relationship with Vince Vaughn and her reaction to Angelina Jolie's pregnancy. I know in the long run it won't change anything, that I'll keep doing what I do now, working, taking care of my children, fantasizing over winning the lottery so I can quit my job, buy a house, and ship my husband to a nice shack on the coast of some 3rd world country; that I, who know myself pretty darn well, would like to be more involved and proactive and do something, anything to be a positive influence to people, but most likely won't because my own personal life is weighing me down - but I can take a minute to recognize that there are others who are far less apathetic, who use their time, no matter how short they may know it is, to improve the human condition - for all of us.
posted by PratchettFan @ 8:25 AM
2 Comments:
I was also impacted by Dana Reeve's death. I think that many people, that one would never suspect, can rise to the challenge of their lives and become heroic. She certainly was one. I think that wives and mothers feel her pain and her passing more than any other group. I have always known that life is not fair and to expect it be so is not only a waste of time but futile.
I have also always felt that the true tragedy of our existence is that one does not realize what they have until it passes. I wasted my youth away with worries that were transient and only focused on a few scattered moments of substance. My focus was too microscopic and needed to be broad and mature in scope. Now I have children and my focus has finally matured. I missed the chance at a journey of substance in my youth but I feel that my chance is coming. My children are my grand plan and my responsibility now but my time will come. I feel that only a fool does not learn from their mistakes the first time. The most heroic journey I can undertake at the moment is to care in every way for my children and to organize my next steps. I understand, as a reach 40, the gravity of the situation and I don't want to be the fool a second time.
You are more heroic than you acknowledge. You are a hero every day when you get up and make your children breakfast when you know that you would rather stay in bed. You're a hero every time that you put their needs before your own. No one does this better than the mothers of our world. I'm sure people would argue that nature and biology have a roll in caring but everyone has the choice and one's choices are what decide their heroism.
It is terrible to lose parents. I dread losing mine but try to do what I can while they're here. I think when parents pass one has to create a new definition of family made of friends and close relatives. Family doesn't have to be relatives but a unit of people who care for each other because it truly is a cold world and there is nothing worse than being alone and isolated. Our path on this earth is always solitary but having family in whatever way one defines it can make the journey warmer and filled with peace. My wish for you is the same as it is for myself. I wish for warmth and contentment in our journey.
In my opinion, you already are doing something very important; raising four kind, well-adjusted, and beautiful children who will go out and affect the world in the upcoming years. There will no doubt be opportunities for you in the future which might not be ripe yet.
Na Mean?
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